Tag: personal-growth

Living Out Our Pain

A Devotional Reflection

There are moments when we react to something small… and later realize it wasn’t so small after all.

Maybe someone’s words felt sharper than they intended.
Maybe you felt overlooked, rejected, or misunderstood.
Maybe jealousy, insecurity, or defensiveness rose up before you could stop it.

Often, what we are reacting to in the present is connected to something unresolved in our past.

Pain has a way of following us when it hasn’t been healed. It quietly influences our relationships, our confidence, our decision-making, and even how we interpret other people’s intentions. Without realizing it, we can begin living out old wounds in real time.

Think about the experiences that shaped you.

Was it harsh words that replay in your mind like a broken record?
Was it bullying or rejection that made you question your worth?
Was it betrayal, abandonment, divorce, or infidelity that left you feeling like you were not enough?
Was it growing up in instability, addiction, or emotional neglect?

These moments leave impressions. And unless we confront them, they can grow into patterns—fear, anger, unforgiveness, comparison, jealousy, and insecurity.

But here is the hope: what wounded you does not have to rule you.

Scripture gently reminds us:

Isaiah 43:18–19
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

God is not dismissing your pain. He is inviting you forward.

Philippians 3:13–14
“…Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal…”

Healing requires intention. It requires humility—the willingness to say, “Maybe my reaction is coming from somewhere deeper.” It requires surrendering courage to release bitterness, comparison, and the belief that we are somehow not enough.

Psalm 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Notice that He doesn’t shame the brokenhearted. He heals them.

We cannot change what happened to us. But we can decide whether we will continue to let it shape how we love, how we trust, and how we see ourselves.

When we choose to examine our wounds instead of ignoring them, cycles begin to break. Compassion grows. Reactions soften. Freedom begins.

Our past may explain us—but it does not have to define us.

The question is: Will we allow God to heal what we’ve been unconsciously living out?

Reflection Questions

  • What situations tend to trigger strong emotional reactions in me?
  • Can I trace those reactions back to a specific experience or season?
  • Is there unforgiveness, insecurity, or fear I need to surrender?
  • What would it look like to respond from healing instead of hurt?

A Prayer

Lord,
You see the places in my heart that still ache. You know the words that wounded me, the moments that shaped me, and the memories I still carry. Help me to recognize when I am reacting from old pain instead of present truth. Give me the courage to confront what I’ve avoided and the strength to release what I’ve held onto. Heal what is broken in me. Break cycles that no longer serve Your purpose in my life. Teach me to live from wholeness, not from hurt.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Posted on by normascott21 0

Work In Progress

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the work we all need to do on ourselves.

So often, we focus on what someone else needs to change. And while it’s true that others may have their own growth to do, we sometimes overlook a powerful truth: real change often begins within us.

We can’t always control what happens to us, but we are fully responsible for how we respond. We are responsible for our healing, our triggers, our growth, and our transformation.

The truth is, we are all a work in progress — and that progress doesn’t end. It is a lifelong journey. As it says in Epistle to the Philippians 1:6, God, who began a good work in us, is faithful to complete it. From moment to moment, He is shaping us — refining, stretching, pruning, and growing us. Teaching us to forgive. To show compassion. To walk in humility. To become better so we can do better.

The work always begins when we look in the mirror.

When we honestly examine ourselves — our reactions, our patterns, our wounds — we begin to see what needs to change. And often, the changes we make within ourselves shift our entire situation. They can change our relationships, our environment, or at the very least, our perspective. And what we cannot change on our own, God can work through us to transform.

We often ask, “When will things change?”
But things begin to change when we change.

Growth is not easy. It requires digging deep. It means confronting uncomfortable emotions. It means acknowledging past pain and recognizing the triggers we carry. It means admitting that we may need to think differently, respond differently, or even seek help. Sometimes that help comes through prayer and surrender. Sometimes it comes through therapy and intentional reflection. Often, it’s both.

Interestingly, the red flags we notice in others can become mirrors. When we see someone avoiding their inner work, it can prompt us to ask: Am I doing mine?

Self-work is not about blame. It’s about responsibility. It’s about recognizing not only what we are carrying internally, but also how it affects the people around us.

Instead of constantly looking outward, let’s start inward.

This doesn’t mean others don’t need to change. It simply means we take ownership of our part. And sometimes, when we do our work faithfully and consistently, it inspires others to begin theirs.

We are all a work in progress.
And that’s not a weakness — it’s grace in motion.

Posted on by normascott21 0

Choose Wisely, Know Your Worth — and Add Tax

Choosing yourself is an act of wisdom. It protects you from being taken advantage of, taken for granted, or mistreated. It keeps your mind clear when actions don’t align with words and helps you recognize when something simply isn’t right.

Knowing your worth means refusing manipulation, gaslighting, and the quiet confusion that leads us to blame ourselves for the behavior of others. It means not allowing feelings of inferiority—feeling like you’re not enough or that you’re too much. At the same time, it’s not about believing you’re better than anyone else. It’s about standing firmly in who you are and refusing to let anyone or anything convince you otherwise.

When you’re doing the work and you truly know your worth, you stop settling for less than you deserve. You understand that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, as Eleanor Roosevelt so wisely said. And when someone wants access to your time, energy, or peace, you add tax—because your value comes with a cost.

Setting boundaries, walking away when necessary, forgiving, and choosing happiness despite circumstances leads to a life of fulfillment and joy. It frees you from comparison, competition, grudges, unforgiveness, and hatred. Instead, you get to live as your true, authentic self—unapologetically.

As this New Year begins, I will continue to do the work. I will be thankful for every new day God blesses me with and learn from every test and trial that comes my way. I will continue to choose me—not out of selfishness, but out of necessity—so I can become my best self and be intentional about what I allow into my life.

Peace comes from choosing yourself. It gives you the clarity to choose what is right for you in every area of your life and opens the door for the right people to walk in—those who see your worth and are willing to pay the tax.

Posted on by normascott21 0

When Apologies Mean Nothing: Breaking the Cycle of Blame

Have you ever been in a situation where you keep experiencing the same behavior from someone? Where they are sorry after the incident, yet not taking any responsibility for their actions, and continuously blaming you, or someone else for their behavior. Well an apology is worthless and not an apology at all without changed behavior.

For some, it could be coming from a spouse or significant other, who’s verbally or physically abusive and is always sorry after the fact, or a family member or friend, or even a boss that crosses the line over and over again, and is always seriously sorry after the fact, and just makes excuses wanting you to just get over it and to act as if nothing ever happened. Expecting you to accept their apology and move on.

when sometimes all the other person needs to heal is for them to recognize and admit and change thier behavior, but we have to also realize that it may not be in them to do so.

They may continue to blame you or anything else for thier behavior, to blame there past, or what they’ve been through, using that as an excuse or a scapegoat for their behavior, while taking no responsibility whatsoever for their own actions.

Although yes we are supposed to forgive them, it doesn’t mean that we have to continue to put up with the behavior, and be made to feel as if we are overreacting, and that it’s all in our head, or that were the problem. I believe you would call this a form of gaslighting, which is just a start in explaining this behavior and the situation we may find ourselves in.

After a while you may start to think that somehow it was your fault, and try to figure out what you may have done to bring on this type of behavior, when the truth of the matter is, we are not responsible for another person’s actions or reactions only they are. The first step in changing thier behavior is for them to realize that there is a problem.

Sometimes we deal with the behavior for years, walking on egg shells, trying to keep the peace and saying the wrong thing to avoid yet another confrontation, It is not our responsibility to try and change them, It will take an act of God, therapy and a total reflection and realization on the other persons part to do that. These situations can cause a lot of mental distress so protecting our peace, our health and mental wellbeing, and not blaming ourselves is crucial.

If there is a part we need to take responsibility for by all means do that, then forgive yourself, take care of yourself and first and foremost forgive and pray for them, pray for yourself and ask God for help and guidance to get through it, or in some cases the strength to remove yourself from the situation all together.

Posted on by normascott21 0